When it comes to New Years Resolutions, hope springs eternal, despite overwhelming evidence they simply don’t work for most of us. A 2020 Australian study found 80 per cent of people who make New Year’s resolutions will have dropped them by the second week of February, while other data suggests an earlier date of 17th January.
So, maybe this year, rather than feeling obliged to set yourself New Years resolutions (which can be quite stressful), take a look at some of the day to day ideas below, simple changes that will make a big difference in the longer term
The thing about making changes to your lifestyle choices, is to do it bit by bit, step by step. And you choosing your own pace. Many people are all or nothing; tackling issues full on and then feeling overwhelmed when they run out of energy and enthusiasm.
Don’t feel you have to immediately embark them all, pick a couple, and when they feel like ingrained habits, pick a few more. Make 2022 the year that you change your life for the better, without even noticing it.
Ditch the To Do list in favour of a Good Enough list
“The New Year is so full of messages that tell us we aren’t enough, we need to change, or there’s a product or diet that can make us better,” says Stacie Swift, self-care advocate and creator of The Positively Awesome Journal. “So I’m a big fan of the ‘Good Enough List’.
“Commit to regularly writing down something that you’ve done OK at – not perfectly, but to the best of your abilities at the time. So: ‘I didn’t go to the gym, but I did walk around the park and take the stairs and that’s good enough for today’; ‘I didn’t tidy the whole house as planned, but the kitchen is clean and that’s good enough.”
Write a thank you letter every month
Prof Martin Seligman, a psychologist who has written several self-help books, has researched countless interventions to see which really work to make us happier. One of the tasks he discovered produced the highest levels of positive emotion for a month after is writing a letter to someone who has somehow improved your life. It can be to anyone who’s done something big or small: just write the letter, and send it. Most of us love an old fashioned letter in the post.
Acknowledge compliments
It’s a very British thing to brush off compliments, but learning how to enjoy them rather than just bat them away can help improve your self-esteem. It feels that we are good at accepting (and for some absorbing) negative or not so friendly feedback.
Learning to pause, and take a moment to feel how good it it when some one gives us a compliment, the “feel good” emotional response lasts. So, next time someone compliments you, pause, take a breathe, acknowledge it, say thank you and soak it up!
Cleanse your social media feeds
Social media can be a wonderful thing, from finding out when a venue opens or when the bin collection is due, to being able to keep in touch with friends and loved ones. Sadly, however, social media can be toxic space. There are campaigns out there to make it law to label images that have been digitally edited online, advises muting or unfollowing accounts that make you unhappy about your body image. The same applies to anything on social media that riles you, whether it’s your bragging colleague on Facebook, or the envy-inducing travel pics of a schoolfriend on Instagram: if it makes you feel bad, unfollow.
Call, text or email a family member or friend every day
Research from Harvard University suggests that meaningful relationships can help improve emotional, mental and physical health and while there is no substitute for face-to-face contact, making the effort to stay in touch with one of your family members or friends each day is a good way to strengthen these vital bonds and get a boost of happy hormones. Cuddling the dog, cat, goat or guinea pig also works.
Set a reminder to smile
Although we think we only smile when we are happy, the mere act of smiling stimulates the release of happy hormones in your brain and reduces the level of stress hormones. So even if you have literally nothing to smile about, set a reminder in your phone to smile – or even laugh – three times a day and it will improve your mood.
Take one deep breath
If getting your head round a meditation app is not your thing, it’s OK. True, meditation is considered to be beneficial but but even just being more focused on breathing really helps. Just start with one deep breath and then three: the next thing you know, you’ve activated your parasympathetic system (which sends a signal to the brain to let the anxious part know that you’re safe and to hold off on the fight, flight or freeze response) and you’re on your way to feeling calm again.
Some sleep ideas,
Track your yawns to learn your optimum bedtime
Your body has a 90-minute rhythm when it comes to sleep and there’s a dip when your brain is least active, which is the best time to fall asleep. To work out your natural dip, look for a natural yawn between 8pm and 9pm and then plan to be in bed ready to fall asleep 90 minutes later. (Source: Psychologist Dr David Lee of Sleep Unlimited)
Brain dump before bed
So often we’re kept awake by thoughts racing through our brains, whether it’s tomorrow’s to-do list or knotty problems we’ve been avoiding dealing with. To get them out of your head – and your bed – scribble everything down in a notebook, or record in a voice note on your phone, before you get into bed. Emptying your thoughts on to paper or a voice recording can make things feel a lot lighter, at the same time being reassured that your valuable thoughts are not lost.
Wake up at the same time every day
Our bodies work on 24-hour cycles and don’t know the difference between a Wednesday and a Sunday, so if five days of the week you get up at 6.30am and for two days you don’t get up until 10am, it’s going to make the 6.30 starts even harder. Up to an hour extra is just about OK, so set your alarm for 7.30 at weekends – and if you get up to get a cup of tea and go back to bed with the paper, don’t go back to sleep.
Take care Katie